“We’re so lucky.” I kept saying that to my sisters following my 90-year-old father’s passing in early 2013. I’m not sure they appreciated why I kept saying that. I said it because we were lucky he’d lived a great life. We were lucky to have had him so long, especially given my mother had died in 1988. We were lucky Dad had all his faculties to the end, even as his body disintegrated. Most of all, though, we were lucky he’d generated and executed a complete estate plan. Thanks to John Heebner’s sense of responsibility, the logistics, legalities and, above all, the grief of his daughters weren’t multiplied needlessly by a lack of foresight on the part of our parent. I knew where he kept the documents. He’d made sure to show me which file drawer they were in a few years prior to his death. He’d put together a trust to avoid probate. He’d also made it clear, as my mother had many years before, that he did not want extensive measures used to prolong his life. He had his Power of Attorney ready to go. He’d made his attorney the executor of his will so we girls wouldn’t argue over it. (Yes, we would have.) A friend of mine who’s an excellent Geriatric Care Manager knew a successful doctor who, in his mid-80s, had all his estate planning and paperwork done. It was found in his desk drawer following his death – all unsigned. His estate wound up in probate, of course, and the difficulty and pain were compounded because there had been two marriages, two sets of offspring – but nothing had been updated since the first marriage. My own estate planning attorney now has to struggle with the fact that there are now only two – count ‘em, two! – probate courts for the whole of Los Angeles County. When he needs to go to trial on behalf of a client, it’s now often an eight to ten month wait for a court date. Talk about prolonging the agony. My Dad had even cleared much of the superfluous stuff out of the house, something I often do on behalf of other families as a Senior Move Manager. But Dad had taken the time to do a lot of the decluttering so his daughters wouldn’t have to, although there was one thing John Heebner did hoard. Given that my father had been a very successful businessman in Buffalo and that he had an MBA from Harvard, I don’t suppose it’s really so great a surprise that he’d kept all his tax returns back to 1957. Given all he’d done for us, I couldn’t really begrudge him his collection of 1040s, even as I was lugging 256 pounds worth of them out of the house for shredding. After all, he’d made sure all the vital paper, all the documents we’d really need, were there waiting for us. If you don’t plan for a grand finale, you – and your family – can easily wind up with a tragic ending.   Marty Stevens-Heebner

Knowing when to hire a Caregiver and even more importantly choosing the right way to go about it can be a very challenging time. Perhaps you or a loved one simply need a ride to a doctor’s appointment or to a family function. Perhaps it has become time to consider full time help. Maybe you just need someone to come in one day a week to give you, the family Caregiver, a break. The first thing you want to consider is safety and security. You want a reputable in-home caregiving company like CARE Homecare who is licensed, bonded and insured who actually employs their Caregivers, screens them thoroughly and does full background checks on them. The right company will provide you with ongoing care management from an experienced management team who will come and provide you with a comprehensive assessment of your care needs and then based upon the findings find you the best possible team of Caregivers. This will ensure the best outcome for you or your loved one and will reduce the risk of having to “try” several different Caregivers before finding the right fit. Below is a brief description of some of the services you can expect to receive from a company like CARE Homecare. Medication Assistance Our caregivers can assist your loved one with making sure that they are taking their medicine correctly. They can also remind your loved one when it is time to take their medicine. So many medications have restrictions on when you can take them and remembering all of that information can be daunting. We are here to help. Meal Planning and Preparation Making sure that your loved one consumes nutritious meals that are prepared with an awareness of their dietary restrictions as well as their personal preferences is a priority for us. If your loved one is diabetic, has certain allergies or any other health restrictions, our caregivers can prepare meals designed with their specific dietary needs in mind. Alzheimer & Dementia Care professionals As experts in Alzheimer’s and dementia care, you can trust us to make your loved one’s life, and yours, much easier and more enjoyable. If your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, it can also take a tremendous toll on your own physical and emotional well-being. With assistance from a supportive team, you don’t have to go it alone. Social Engagement We believe that social interaction and stimulation keep the mind and heart happy. Active mental and social engagement is so important in keeping loneliness and depression at bay and making life more meaningful. That’s why our Caregivers are so attentive to the activities your loved one need to keep their minds sharp, have fun, and stay connected with friends, family, and community. Companionship Companionship provides a valuable social benefit by decreasing isolation and helping to reduce depression from being alone. A companion provides invaluable peace of mind to you and your loved one by offering a companion to accompany them along to many of the things in life they once were able to do independently. Activities at Home Our Caregivers will engage your loved one in daily conversation, art, music, reading, gardening, cooking, brain-stimulating activities and regular physical activity to help diminish the debilitating effects of dementia and depression. Games involving concentration and focus stimulate the brain cells to increase neural connections. Our Caregivers can build a stronger relationship while working on these meaningful projects together, which will in turn improve their quality of life. Exercise & Strengthening We want to help your loved one maintain their strength, endurance and balance so that they can stay in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible. Our Caregivers can help your loved one enjoy the benefits of increased balance, good circulation, walking ability, general mobility, strength and stamina through regular range of motion, stretching and balance exercises. By simply encouraging regular physical activity, our Caregivers can improve your loved one’s confidence, mood, sleep habits and independence. Transportation Assistance Our Caregivers are available to help your loved one take back some of their independence by providing safe and reliable transportation to wherever they wish to go. They can once again go shopping, to the salon, to a park, to visit friends to church or even community centers to participate in group activities. Often times, our Caregivers are able to connect seniors with others within the community and help them participate in community programs, classes, workshops and events where they can interact with others with whom they can relate. Light Housekeeping When your aging or disabled loved one lives in a clean and organized home, they enjoy greater feelings of wellbeing—and even good health. Keeping refrigerators and cupboards free of expired or spoiled foods can avert food-borne illnesses. To avoid fire hazards, stoves, toasters, ovens and other appliances must be regularly cleaned to avoid a build-up of grease, oils or crumbs. We make it possible for your aging parent or disabled family member to enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a clean and uncluttered home. For any additional questions you may have about hiring Caregivers or any other senior care provider options you want to learn about, please reach out to CARE Homecare’s Community Liaison, Jeromy Meyer, 24/7 at (323) 599-6056 or visit us online at carehomecare.net [contact-form to=’jeromy@rayasparadise.com’ subject=’Response to 4/16 blog post on RP web site’][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Website’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]